I Surrender

I quit. Period. Stick a fork in me - I'm done.

How many times must a person get the shit kicked out of them? Seriously. As I've stated earlier, this year hasn't been the best for me for a number of reasons. Lately, there have been a TON of fabulous things happening - things that have made me think - gee, ok, things were a bit rocky for awhile, but look, everything is turning around; life is good, etc.

So now, I'm reaching the top of the mountain. I can see the top of the mountain. It is clearly within reach & is beyond fabulous. Just as I'm about to reach my hand out to grab on & pull myself up to a point where I've been CONVINCED it can't get any better...WHAM!!!! A foot comes out of knowhere & kicks me in the teeth. I have now spent the better part of today tumbling ass over tea kettle down the mountain.

I am sick of being bumped and bruised. I am sick of getting my ass kicked for no reason. For all the crap I've been through this year, I was even slowly coming to terms with everything & accepting how things would and are going to be. I have a great boyfriend, a great house, Evie, etc. I know there are people in this world who clearly have things worse than me - so don't get me wrong but in my 60 square mile universe - I am at a loss.

I am SO SICK of trying to pick my ass up because I keep getting kicked in the teeth. For the past four years it's seemed like this vicious circle that has intensified in the last year. My health - and I'm not that old - has gone to shit. Severe weight loss [which actually has helped in some areas :-O ] - clumps of hair falling out - infections - and much more that's not right for publication seems to be killing me. My stress level is out of control.

I simply give up. Blech.