I Surrender

I quit. Period. Stick a fork in me - I'm done.

How many times must a person get the shit kicked out of them? Seriously. As I've stated earlier, this year hasn't been the best for me for a number of reasons. Lately, there have been a TON of fabulous things happening - things that have made me think - gee, ok, things were a bit rocky for awhile, but look, everything is turning around; life is good, etc.

So now, I'm reaching the top of the mountain. I can see the top of the mountain. It is clearly within reach & is beyond fabulous. Just as I'm about to reach my hand out to grab on & pull myself up to a point where I've been CONVINCED it can't get any better...WHAM!!!! A foot comes out of knowhere & kicks me in the teeth. I have now spent the better part of today tumbling ass over tea kettle down the mountain.

I am sick of being bumped and bruised. I am sick of getting my ass kicked for no reason. For all the crap I've been through this year, I was even slowly coming to terms with everything & accepting how things would and are going to be. I have a great boyfriend, a great house, Evie, etc. I know there are people in this world who clearly have things worse than me - so don't get me wrong but in my 60 square mile universe - I am at a loss.

I am SO SICK of trying to pick my ass up because I keep getting kicked in the teeth. For the past four years it's seemed like this vicious circle that has intensified in the last year. My health - and I'm not that old - has gone to shit. Severe weight loss [which actually has helped in some areas :-O ] - clumps of hair falling out - infections - and much more that's not right for publication seems to be killing me. My stress level is out of control.

I simply give up. Blech.

Fall in PNW

Evie has a bone spur. Basically like a knot on her wrist. She's getting around ok but limps alot after running hard. Annoying because I know it hurts her & can only do pain management at this time. Good news though is EVIE TURNED 8YRS on 10/17....whooohooo....

Picture of boyfriend, Evie & Tara enjoying a bright, sunny fall morning taken last Sunday. It was unusually dry and sunny! We'll take what we can get as it's better than drying off muddy feet. The girls had to go to the dog wash afterwards because they were covered in sand and mud - and we were too lazy to do it at home & clog up the bathtub.

And a photo of a nice fall scene - on the Snoqualmie River - taken on our walk this past Sunday. Again, unusually dry & sunny. About 60 and quite crisp out. Better than rain!!!

Oh! I also slowly started to knit again. Working on a shawl for boyfriend's mom for xmas. I am SO looking forward to the holidays with him! His family is coming to the house for Thanksgiving - and we're doing everything! So fun. He's never had his family to his house & he's lived here 13yrs! Against my own holiday rules of ettiquette, we even bought new Christmas ornaments when we were at IKEA the other day [I really hate anything Christmas - or any holiday for that matter - that's 'out of order' - i.e. no Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving, etc.] There were some really cool black ornaments I got but I may return them; combined with the red ones I'm either thinking deck of cards or I don't know what...hmmmmm